This is an assignment for the MIT Creative Writing course on the open source site. I hope to take a “real” one soon but for now here goes.
Why do I write?
The answer is, I don’t. I don’t write unless I have to. Right now, I have my own blog and I have it because I need it. I need it because I am adjusting to home school, and WordPress helps me to feel as though I won’t just disappear. Back in sixth grade, maybe the beginning of seventh, I thought I was going to stay a regular schooled kid. When I stopped living with my parents and was appointed a guardian, school was brutal and unforgiving toward me. Educators were nowhere near sensitive or respectful to my needs as someone who risked being sent back to a dangerous situation or thrown back into the life lottery if I could not keep my grades up and “prove” this was the right place for me. My guardian essentially told me that she didn’t think that middle school would work for me. I was taken out of school to deal with issues like PTSD and such. Because a lot of my time as a home school student has been about dealing with trauma and keeping avoidable triggers out of my schooling, I haven’t had much time to socialize. The only home school group I belong to is virtual. Next year, she says she’s going to get me a more formalized curriculum for ninth grade since colleges look at that sort of thing but this year a lot of my work is “research things that interest you and write about them or talk about them” with a dash of “do things on Kahn Academy/The Grey School.” The Grey School is nice because it surprisingly has a lot of history and literature type courses along with a bit of basic math. A fellow home school student I know is taking a basic math refresher course there to make sure she’s up to speed on arithmetic before potentially starting pre-algebra.
I don’t have report cards. I don’t have tests or a student ID badge with my name on it. The only thing that “proves” I exist and that my education exists seems to be this blog and maybe my Facebook page. I write because it is a means of being legitimate and having my voice heard by the outside world without having to have intensely stressful one-on-one conversations. This is why I write.